Jennie Vs. God

I confess. I was a blinded Catholic believer when I was much younger. I was even part of the founding members of a religious organisation in school back in my high school days (I actually squirm in disbelief now). I wasn't self-righteous or anything like that (I hope) and still got along with heaps of people, regardless of their religion or belief.


Ironically when I went to DLSU, which is a known Catholic university, I got introduced to several professors who presented different ways of thinking. I met different people who were very outspoken about their beliefs - my professor in Contemporary Philosophy was an "out of the closet" Atheist, my other Philosophy professor was an Existentialist, and a classmate of mine was an Agnostic. I have never encountered such diversity!


Being a person with a very open mind, I listened and saw the validity of their arguments. I found myself leaning towards Existentialism during my first year of university - that is until I had Mr. Monera for a Religion class.


It was a Bible Exegesis class, which involves an extensive and critical interpretation of a text. In this case, we were made to pick certain books of the Bible and conduct research to determine history, tradition, and authorship of the books.


Wow, so God didn't write the Bible after all! Fantastic stuff, isn't it? Turns out that the Bible was a collection of stories written by men. These stories went through a lot of heavy editing at the First Council of Nicaea during the time of Emperor Constantine in 325 AD. During this time, a lot of the books, now knows as the Gnostic Gospels, were removed. Basically, the Council developed what we know of Christianity now and the divinity of Jesus Christ - man, but not man-like. Son of God who knew no woman, who couldn't possibly have any sort of relationship let alone a family.


From an Existentialist, I have become Agnostic. I began to read books that would question the validity of Religion and existence of God. I have been Agnostic for 11 years now and people say that it's natural progression would be turning to an Atheist.


I may be a few steps away from that now... especially since September 11 happened.


I am not saying that Religion doesn't do anything good for people. Sure, there are people who truly feel like their lives have improved because of it and best of luck to them. What I gripe about are those who feel like they are better than everyone else because of their faith and thus do evil things in the name of their God.


As Steven Weinberg, the 1979 Nobel Peace Prize winner in Physics, said, "Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."


The idea of a Greater Good is fantastic. Very ideal. But, if you take the scriptures literally, what you have is a racist, petty, jealous, unjust, and unforgiving God. Why would we want to emulate someone like that?


Have a chat with fundamentalist Christians and right wing Muslims and you'll see my frustration. You can never have a logical argument with these people. Both are convinced that the other is believing a lie and that they are the only ones going to heaven.


What ego!


If you are open minded and secure in your personal belief, please read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. It has been on my bedside table for the past few days but it's not the best bed time book. It's guaranteed to keep you awake and think.


Also, watch the following documentaries:


The Root of All Evil? by Richard Dawkins and God On My Side by Andrew Denton.


I encourage a healthy and logical debate about this. Feel free to post your comments and I will discuss your concerns to your heart's desire. Nothing revitalizes me more than a intellectual spar.

Kiss and tell... the final chapter

So, part 3 accounts for all of my relationships previous to my current one.


One thing is for sure, this one is the best of all!


Lawrence Arnold Estrada - Arnie to his Aussie friends, Lawrence or Oren to family and friends, Banee to moi :)


Well, we actually first got introduced through an ex-friend/workmate of mine. My blog readers would probably be familiar with the complete story of how that whole relationship with the ex-friend went but for those who are not, check it out here.


To cut the long story short, Arnie and I started talking over the phone first and got to know each other a little better. The funny thing is that the first thing we found that we've got in common is our taste in music - would you believe, Metallica?!? Hahaha!


We decided to meet up and have dinner somewhere. We felt the attraction from the start and found so many other things that we liked about each other. Sparks flew, and here we are now, 7 years down the track, happily engaged, and about to get married.


Going back to my younger years, I never would have thought that I would be meeting my future husband in Melbourne, let alone that he is also a Filipino. How amazing is that?


Arnie is someone whom you would not label a typical Filipino man. He cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry, he irons, he pampers me and he works really hard. He is very confident with himself and is not afraid to speak his mind. Being older than my 29 years (he's already 38), he has experienced so many things that has left him wiser and more mature than any man my age. I have never met anyone like him. He makes me very happy and content with everything that I have now. He is my rock, my support system aside from my mum, and is someone that I am sure will stick by me till the end of our days.


I love this man so much and I am so excited about the wedding!


10 more months to go...


*****


On that note, our wedding website is now up for viewing! Please feel free to have a look around and constantly check it out for updates. I will be placing a permanent link on my sidebar.


Cheers and have a great week!

Kiss and tell part 3

So, a short recap of what happened so far in part 2...

• Went to a Catholic girls' school
• Had relationships with several girls
• Broke some one's heart

So, I'm back in my old Alma mater. Mum's reasoning? An all girls' school was making me more obnoxious and naughty. Hahaha!


Because I was sort of a "new" student again, I was required to take summer classes as a prep for my sophomore year. There, I met a few students from different year levels. It was actually fun. I made friends and enjoyed being with students who are just not that into studying but were more into partying and the like.


It was here that I met one guy who was no longer studying in the school but was visiting with a friend. Let's just call him R (again). He was not bad looking, although not as remarkably cute as the first R that I went out with. But one thing I have to grant this R... he was an excellent kisser and he had such a sexy voice!


Man, oh man, the places we made out in! Just thinking about it is making me laugh so hard because of the gall and how shameless we were! We just didn't care at all! The relationship, of course, didn't last. It was, after all, just a "kissing relationship", no substance or depth whatsoever. It didn't even last a month for as soon as school started, we broke it off. All the while, there was this other guy by the name of Harold that was sort of courting me but didn't come to anything. He was lazy with everything - school, courting - it just wasn't worth it. Too bad, since he was so cute!


So throughout high school, I had a boyfriend every year. Hahaha! Ang landi!


My boyfriend in second year high school, H, was a sweety. He was a gentleman and nothing - absolutely nothing - happened between us. No kissing, no hugging, nothing. It was amazing. He was like a boyfriend by name and that's it! We were more like friends, nothing more. We broke up amicably.


In third year, another guy came along. I shall call him D. He was a nice, sweet, handsome man. He was a year older - in his fourth year of high school. The relationship was, let's just say, intense. It got too intense for my liking that I broke it off with him during the first few months of my senior year in high school. We were 11 months into the relationship, he was already in college. I got scared. I guess being just 15-16 years of age, I wasn't ready to go that deep into the relationship. I understood that he was older and may have needs that I am not ready to provide as of yet. I just don't want to get into a situation where I would have to give up something I am not prepared to... you know what I mean?


So, in my fourth and last year of high school, I decided to have a relationship with someone who was younger for I thought it was much safer. Hahaha!


David, my bestest friend, was really a boyfriend before we became great friends. Our relationship was great, close to the ideal. He was sweet, attentive, a gentleman, and we had a great time together just hanging out or playing games at the mall after school. I was never bored with him and he got along so well with my friends. He was really an amazing guy. With him, I felt the kilig again. The relationship was not as intense as with D. I never felt pressured into doing anything with David because we just had fun as is. I guess one of the reasons why we're still great friends to this day because we shared a lot of good times together.


David was also what you would call a bit of a player, although he never played around when we were together. You could say that he learned to treat women really well because of me. I was his first girlfriend and I kind of defined the how's and why's in a relationship for him. And what do you know? It actually works! It's just amazing to see that women are falling for him left, right, and centre. And you know what? When he's in a pickle, he still asks me for advise.


Haaaay... I miss him! How I wish he makes it to my wedding...


Okay... so obviously, we broke up after I went to college. The distance was killing the relationship and it wouldn't be fair to David to have him tied down to someone at such a young age. It was a amicable break up and we parted as friends for real. Of course, I found myself entering a relationship which, in hindsight, I really wasn't ready for. I guess my mistake was I should have just enjoyed my single hood for I was never single for a long period of time, the most being 6 months, since I started dating.


It was my first adult relationship. My blog readers would probably remember that I would go on and on about how I regretted that relationship. It's been awhile. I am 29 and I am getting married soon. I can honestly say I am over it and I don't really regret being in that relationship. In fairness to the guy (whom I shall not name and have never named in this blog), I did love him and there were great times between us. Like my friend Ryan said, we were good for each other at the time. I have learnt a lot from the relationship and it helped me become the person that I am. I wish that person nothing but happiness and the best of luck in life. I hope that he finds true love like I have...


...Which comes to my current relationship... the man that I am about to marry, Lawrence Arnold Estrada...

...to be continued...

In search for the perfect dress

With the wedding only 10 months away, my "to-do list" seems to be growing by the week!


Tomorrow will be the first of my many appointments with various dressmakers in search for the perfect wedding dress.


I am not what you would call the most feminine person but I do want to have an extra special dress. I am also not what you would call a traditional bride.


So, I have decided that the perfect dress for me would have to meet this criteria:

• Should not look like a pastry of some sort, or the more common meringue style
• Should not cost as much as my monthly salary
• Should not be strapless (I really don't feel like showing off my tattoos)

It should be fun, no doubt. I hope that within the next three months, I'll be able to choose the "one" for me.


Have a great weekend everyone!