Monday, May 30, 2005

Another Q & A...

The first Q & A that I have done was posted on my Arts blog. This Q & A has been nicely provided by a new blog friend, Vayie, in her blog. Thanks for letting me steal this, Vayie! ^_^

Latest food craving – Sara Lee Apple Pie and Peter's Extra Creamy Vanilla Ice Cream... oh, so heavenly ^_^

Latest Favorite TV Show – The OC... have not missed a single episode!

Latest Favorite Song – "Pale Shelter" by Tears For Fears and "C'mere" by Interpol

Latest Movie Watched – Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith

Latest Celebrity Crush – Roland Orzabal from Tears for Fears... have been scouring for his old 80s photos... boy is he yummy! ^_^

Latest Karma – probably good karma... still in a great relationship with Arnie after 4 and a 1/2 years!

Latest Best Bud – Would have to be Arnie and Miguel... I still love you bestest bud David, but you're just too far away... >sniff, sniff<

Latest Regret – I have not regretted anything I did lately... probably stuff that I have done in the past, but let's not get into that.

Latest Crush – see Celebrity Crush

Latest kinky dream – not really kinky... was granted a wish by a genie and gave him a list of men that I wanted to pash. Number 1 and number 2 on my list were Robert Smith and Roland Orzabal respectively :p

Latest paycheck received – $780.00 last Friday. I get paid weekly ^_^

Latest naughty act – I can't say! It's past the PG rating :p

Latest idols – Robert Smith, always and forever, and Roland Orzabal, for his songwriting and guitar playing genius!

Latest addiction – blogging, club retro, Boost juice, gym, playing with my hair :p

Latest coital (sexual) experience - yesterday... hahaha! :p

Latest disappointment – getting a grade of credit in a group assignment :(

Latest splurge – it has been awhile... would have to be Arnie's birthday present: iPod shuffle

Latest Love of your life – Lawrence Arnold Estrada, my future husband ^_^

Latest incident that made you cry – Pope John Paul II's death... I know, I'm such a sap!

Latest hobby – blogging, cooking (having a newly renovated kitchen helps!), surfing the net for old TFF photos of Roland :p

Latest loss – Nothing lately, and I want it to stay that way!

Latest wish – To win those free passes to the Bloc Party concert at the Hi-Fi Bar, Melbourne! >cross fingers!!!<

Latest tantrum
– Not so much a tantrum, more of a hormonal thing ^_^... started from Last Tuesday and ended last Friday.

Latest bliss – See question #15... hahaha!

Latest realization – That I'm still a kid at 27... the fact that I still get irrational and shitty moods is proof :(

Update on New Wave party...

Got a phone call from my friend who is hosting the New Wave party I'm attending this coming Saturday. He asked me if I could man (or woman :p) the "dj booth" and bring my renowned 80s music collection. All my mates know I have about 500 CDs comprising of 80s new wave, post punk and pop songs (originals and downloaded mp3's combined).

First thing I asked, "So, you thought of having a 'new wave' party and yet you don't have any CDs to play?"

My mate answered, "Well, I have a few albums! Bronski Beat, Culture Club, Wham, The Communards, Pet Shop Boys..."

Oh , did I mention that this friend of mine is gay???

I said, "Oooookayyyyy... that's not exactly new wave now, is it?"

He said, "I know, I know... but a friend of mine is lending us an audio mixer", somewhat sheepishly.

I grunted, "Some good that'll do if you don't have any music to play."

To which he finally replied in his not-so subtle bitchy gayness, "Oh, stop being such a fucking sour-puss and help me already!"

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

Only he could turn bitchyness into sheer comedy. I love him, my sweet, sweet happy man!

Of course, I'll help him out! I'm quite excited by the whole prospect of being in charge of the music! At least I'm sure there wouldn't be any shit music at the party! >grin<

Now, I have to start writing up a playlist. Can't wait!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2005

My feel-good meter is on the uptick...

After a week long stay at the holiday resort of sooky-la-la land, I feel that I am ready to join the living and be able to function like a normal human being again. The following events have happened in the past 12 hours:

1. Work wasn't so busy so I was able to bum around and surf the net... I know, I know... I'm a bludger, so sue me!

2. Left work early to go to school. Was able to upload more TFF songs into my iPod and listened to it in the tram. I refuse to drive into the city and pay for an atrocious parking fee when I can just park my car close to the tram stop for free and pay for a tram ticket for 1/3 the price of the parking fee.

3. Took my final exams. Thought I did okay, although I really don't care if I get a high grade or not, so long as I pass. It's not like my company will refuse to pay for my tuition if I get a grade less than a DI (distinction).

4. Met up with Arnie to have dinner. I missed him all week. I have been feeling absolutely unloved for no reason at all. Must be the weather, the hormones... no idea.

5. Walked around the city and window shopped. Chanced upon a couple of friends, Miguel and his brother Javier and went to Max Brenner (Chocolate by the Baldman). First time I have ever been there, and boy was the Mexican Chilli Chocolate drink and Strawberry Waffles heavenly! Enormous consumption of chocolate never fails to make me feel slightly better.

6. Chatted for about 2 hours with the boys. Had a lot of laughs. Nothing cheers me up than a rather risque and no holds barred conversation with adult men. ^_^

7. Went to Club Retro with Arnie. We both went to the top floor where they had the darkroom, the place where they play alternative 80s music. Read: 80s music that I actually like -- New Wave and post punk. Went up to the dj and asked him to play TFF's Mad World and Joy Division's She's Lost Control. A few people freaked out, maybe because of my choice of song or the fact that I'm asian and I know the song. Well, fucktard, filos are a different breed of asian!

8. Danced the night away along excellent New Wave music. Some songs played were The World In My Eyes and Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode, Close To Me and Friday I'm In Love by The Cure, What Difference Does It Make and Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths, The Last of the Famous International Playboys by Morrissey, and Cars by Gary Neuman.

9. The fact that Arnie and I were the only asians in the darkroom and that some of the Aussies were trying to copy our 80s dance moves! Think Roland Orzabal... Arnie said I've got his moves down to pat... yay!!!

10. Got home, smelled of fucking cigarette smoke. Took a shower.

11. It's now 3:00 am, I'm still fully awake, and am eating Pork and Century Egg congee...

All in all, a bloody great day!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

That angsty feeling you get...

Rant Alert!!!

For the past week, the song "Pale Shelter" by Tears for Fears has been on repeat mode in my iPod. I play it on my computer at work, in my car via the fm transmitter, and at home via the Tears Roll Down DVD.

I have spoken to a good friend over MSN this morning at work and I have told him the same thing. He asked me, "What's wrong? Do you remember anything that a former loved one did to you?" In all honesty, he was the first person who was able to connect that angsty-love feeling with the song. In my case though, it wasn't so much of that feeling of love lost or unrequited love. There is a bit of that, but there was more of a feeling of, how shall I say it? Slight unhappiness brought upon my youth? I guess that's one way to put it...

"Pale Shelter" is a song that speaks of uncertainty,

How can I be sure
When your intrusion is my illusion...

unbelongingness, that unloved and misunderstood feeling that "weird" kids get.

You don't give me love...
You give me cold hands...

To me, it also conveys that feeling of being not in control of your own life.

I can't operate on this failure
When all I want to be is completely in command...

I would have to say that my childhood had been normal in a sense... if you call constant screaming and fighting of parental units normal. My father has always been an affectionate man, being the Ilonggo that he is, and mother was rather unaffectionate but caring in her own way. Come to think of it, her whole family never was the affectionate kind. They respect each other and care for each other but in true Spanish fashion, they were rather strict and traditional in their ways.

I never resented my parents in any way. I respect them both and I think they did the best for me. Separately, I can handle them. Together, I'd run for the hills screaming. I can't say that my parents loathed each other. I reckon it's a massive personality clash, the same with my mother and I. Mum and I always had our squabbles, and our arguments are quite legendary within the family. I have never backed down and can be downright bitchy. My mother is stuck in her ways and I accept that now. I have learned, after 27 years, that if I want to keep the peace I should know when to keep my mouth shut. It is unfortunate that at my age, I have become the parent. I know my mother means well, but I think she has to learn that I am no longer the 19-year old university student she left behind in Manila when she decided to migrate to Australia. I have long changed my ways. To her credit, she has accepted that fact... took her bloody 5 years to accept it though... small steps, small steps.

There are quite a number of things that I wish I did and didn't do back when I was much younger.

I wish I...

... didn't have a serious relationship at such an early age.

... didn't start smoking at such an early age (at the tender age of 13!)

... have maintained childhood friendships. I have lost contact with most of the kids I was good friends with back at the old neighbourhood in Old Manila.

... have been more of an individual and didn't feel sorry for myself when I was picked on for being one.

... have spoken out more against people who picked on me, not that I didn't, mind you. I did get to quite a number of fights because of it too.

... learned how to play the guitar at an early age. I would probably be really good at it at present if I had all the practice.

... was born earlier. I could have been a teenager or in my early 20s during the 80s and had the chance to make a play for Roland Orzabal and/or Robert Smith (hahaha, wishful thinking! :p)

... pashed more guys! (what can I say? I love kissing! :p)

... pashed more girls as well. (what's that? gasp, shock, horror? hahaha! As I said, I love kissing! :p)

... didn't get pressured into having sex when I knew that I just wasn't ready. (fucking "If you love me, you would" line... why did I have to be so fucking gullible???)

... didn't swear too much. (hehehe, this goes out of the window now, ey? >see above< :p)

... didn't beat myself up too much for being such an open-minded person who is comfortable with her sexuality. I got so much flak for this... often got called so many names because of this... and I wasn't even sleeping with anyone at the time! Honestly, why would I want to sleep with anybody in my high school? All together now... eeeeewwwwwww!!!

... did martial arts.

... didn't feel insecure for being so different from the others. Everybody is weird in their own way, right?

I am very guilty of dwelling in my past mistakes and my past heartaches. Arnie often consoles me and says, "You wouldn't be the person you are now if it weren't for all the shit you went through. It just made stronger, wiser, and a better person."

Bless my man! He always knows what to say to make me feel better. ^_^

I have to get over this angst-ridden guilt I have. I think it's about time I turn off the repeat mode, quit playing "Pale Shelter", and move on to other things.

How about "Head Over Heels"?

Ah, the joys, awkwardness, uncertainty, and pains of love, huh?

Now that, my friends, I will share with you next time.

Till then...

I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

At the home stretch now...

I don't know if you guys are aware, but I am currently taking up a Post grad course at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology. The course is Information Management. I am quite lucky to have my work pay for the course and help me to further my career in the industry.

Friday is the day of my final exams for Document Management 1. The following Friday is the deadline for my final assignment in Information Provision 1. After that... it's school holidays baby!!!

Of course, I won't get my final results till about two weeks before second semester starts. I am pretty confident that I'll be passing both subjects. I know I shouldn't be counting my chickens too early, but I just have a feeling ^_^.

School holidays is timely too since it is also right smack in the middle of the end of financial year, which means that'll be awfully, awfully busy at work! We are trying to get most of our work done so that we can grab every single cent of our revenue and add it to the FY's end result. All that I hope for now is that I get a substantial bonus after this...

I am yet to hear about the promotion that I have applied for back in February. It's still an in-house job but a completely different role and of course, higher pay. It's a Project Manager role for the whole City of Melbourne. At the moment, the position is stalled due to the company and a new customer's lengthy negotiations over the contract. Damn lawyers making it all too tedious, the gits!

I really could use the extra money. With my mortgage, car, bills, hobbies, shopping, etc... I REALLY could use the extra money!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Put on your dancing shoes...

I have just been invited to a "new wave" party by a good friend and it'll be held in a couple of weeks' time. Aside from the 80s theme, guests are also required to dress up... shock, gasp, horror!!!

I am very excited about this party. This is actually the second "new wave" party I've been invited to and already have an outfit in mind. I was thinking along the lines of Joan Jett or Siouxsie Sioux... and no, I don't have the guts to go for the whole "Burlesque Siouxsie" look! :p

Hmm... I wonder if I can talk Arnie into doing the whole "shirtless Roland Orzabal" look... hmmm.... drifts off.... >shirtless Roland... shirtless Roland... shirtless... Roland... hmmmm...<

Ahem... now... I also have to polish up my dance moves. This friend who's hosting the party is a professional dancer and is also a dance intructor at Melbourne Grammar. I'll be damned if I embarass myself in front of a roomful of dancers! It'll probably be a bit weird to be in a room full of people, men and women alike, to be dancing with their hands above their earlobes... I know that 80s dance moves are very elaborate and rather... er... idiotic looking >sheepish grin< style="font-weight: bold;">"Mad World" to play. I am definitely making a special request for that! ^_^

Will keep you guys posted on how it goes... I'm sure it'll be a blast!

For the meantime.... >shirtless Roland... shirtless Roland... shirtless Roland...<

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I am officially a fangirl!!!

Yes, as the title says, I am officially a fangirl! Of what, you may ask? Well recently, I have joined the Melbourne Harry Potter Meetup Group. Yes, you heard me (or rather read :p). I have been utterly obsessed with Harry Potter that I decided to join a group where I get to meet complete strangers in some bar in Melbourne (well, Fitzroy Street to be exact... will share pictures later on!) and talk, what else, Harry Potter!

Jennie, Kathleen, Caz, and our organizer Shannon.
Don't you think the HP glasses are spiffy? :p

I am very, very excited about the release of the sixth HP book and can't wait to grab my copy on the day of its release! I have just bidded on a Gryffindor scarf in eBay and I plan to wear that on the Harry Potter book release party at the Federation Square... good excuse too since it'll be the middle of winter here by then!

The group meets every first Friday of the month. I hope there will be more of us on the next meeting. Regardless, it'll still be fun I reckon... as long as we have Harry, we'll be fine (and in the case of our organizer Shannon, as long as Snape is there, she's happy!)

More about the group on