Thursday, May 18, 2006

Impending doom?

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life wherein you feel that everything is just so perfect that you know something nasty is lurking around the corner?

I have been feeling this for the past few years now.

Call me a cynic, a non-believer, or a pessimist but I have gone through so much shit in my life that I feel 3 or so years of no pressing issues whatsoever is not normal at all. Given that there are the usual miniscule issues at work and life in general, there is nothing really dramatic in my life that requires sleeplessness and anxiety.

I guess I should be thankful that I am quite lucky with my life now that everything is falling into place. I should be thankful that I am surrounded by people I love and cherish, and for the fantastic opportunities that seem to be popping all over the place for me like wild mushrooms.

But I still can't help feeling that something disastrous is about to happen...

Tania, one of my staff members, always says that one should never think about bad things because you attract it to come to you. This means that I have to push cynical, negative Jennie aside and let positive Jennie shine through. Besides, it was because of positive Jennie that I have this great life in the first place.

I guess this feeling of impending doom is without merit, a completely useless exercise. Humans do tend to be always doubtful of what they receive, constantly questioning and saying "what's the catch?" I guess it is very hard for people to just say "thank you" and move on.

I'll try my hardest to be grateful for everything I have received from now on.

Arnie, thank you for your love and support.

Mum, thank you for always being there for me.

Migs, thank you for being my best mate.

Itchie, Oliver, Caloi, Glen, Rachelle, and Rey, thank you for being my coolest kabarkada here in Melbourne.

To everyone at Recall, thank you for supporting me in my career and helping me broaden my skills.

To my friends and family back in Pinas, thank you for never forgetting me and mum. Miss you guys so much!

To my blogmates and readers, thank you for taking such an interest in my life no matter how boring it could be. It's amazing how the world wide web could shorten distances between people and be tool to make friends :)

And to the supreme being that I never thank enough, thank you for giving me a chance to prove to you that I can be a good person and I will forever be grateful for all the blessings you have showered upon me :)


Jaz said...

The Lord gave you so much blessings because He knows you truly deserve it :)

And yes, always be thankful....and I'm not just referring to all the good things that He has given you but also of those other not-so-pleasant stuff that He willed you to have/experience. After all, any form of tribulation that He so gives, is something that He knows you can overcome, and is that catalyst that also moulds you into a much better person =)

Jennie said...

I know. All the trials I have faced molded me to the person I have become... much stronger, more focused, and much more responsible.

Anonymous said...

Jen, I strong believer in positive thinking too and agree that you attract what is on your mind most of the time (good or bad). I might be wrong but most of the time "feelings of impending doom" usually is something you need to look inside yourself. Usually feelings like that is the subconcious telling you that there is a personal issue or something you have been avoiding and you need to face.

Just my 2 cents.


Kiko said...

You're thinking too much.. don't.

Ye just need to take mo time out and smell d flowerz.

Carpe diem!