When is sex good?

Okay, I'm taking a break from all my engagement party plans since I have sent out all the invitations. I just want to write something else. I want to warn you now that this is a bit personal and in your face. Well, the title of this entry should give you an idea.

I have visited my friend Jayce's blog today and have read about the "voices" in his head that have been bothering him for quite some time. I have then posted a comment about how his predicament reminded me of my situation way back, about a good five and a half years ago, when I was single and living alone in Melbourne. I was not fighting with an urge to jump any man to have sex with, I was actually looking for some really good company... if you get my drift.

I am one of the unfortunate ones, I'm afraid. Amidst all the worldliness, open-mindedness, and sometimes tactless approach I have towards sex, I am but an amateur. Prior to my relationship to my present boyfriend now soon-to-be-hubby, I have had, no other term to phrase it, shit sex. Absolutely shit sex!

I will not name names, even if I know that he is unaware I have a blog or that most of my readers, save a few, know about the person involved. It was back in university when I was still living in Manila. I dated him for three years. I admit that I loved the guy even if he was an arrogant, know-it-all, selfish jerk. Arrogant because he actually believed that no one else in the world would love me (blech!), a know-it-all because he believes he can help everybody and feels that he can impart such wisdom (blech!), and selfish because he, in no way, acknowledged my needs. He ripped me of my confidence, my self-esteem, my love for myself. He wanted me to leave my friends because, according to him, why would I still need my friends when I already have him? Good thing I did not agree with him here, and that resulted in one of our countless fights. Imagine being with someone for the first few months and you're already fighting constantly? What the hell kind of relationship is that?

I admit, I was insane, stupid and immature. Now that I look back, it was a horrible situation and I was lucky I got out when I did. Now, the schmuck is probably victimizing another unaware fool...

Okay, moving on...

To put it bluntly, the sex was B-A-D. I felt like a piece of meat being used for his own selfish reasons. Would you believe I only orgasmed once? Once! In a three year relationship! Only once! Dear God, what is wrong with me? Well actually, the question will be what's wrong with him???

The sad part is that he was the first guy I have ever slept with. The whole experience turned me off sex, but another part of me was yearning for something better.

Enter my fiance Arnie.

So, when does one know if sex is good? I don't believe it's all about the orgasm (it's actually a bonus especially in the case of women). It's a deep connection with another. It's love, it's care, it's joy. It's attending to the other's needs rather than your own.

I know that I may be crossing over the "making love" territory here but this is what works for me. Being able to perform all the different positions listed in the Kama Sutra is a bonus, of course. It does add a certain spice to the whole experience.

So, what works for you? When is sex good sex? Is it the whips, the chains, the chocolate syrup, the lingerie, the leather? Or is it the soft touch, the tender kiss, the inaudible sigh from your lover's lips? Share you thoughts.

Engagement hysteria...

... well, not so much hysteria, but there's just so much to do in so little time.

Arnie and I have finally set a date for the engagement party. We have already booked the venue. Now, I have to prepare the invitations and send it all out this week. I have to get the actual number of people who are going around a week before the event, which is the 22nd of October.

I also have to scour for a good hotel to book for the night. There is no way in the world that we would be able to walk around after getting absolutely plastered, let alone drive afterwards!

Arnie and I also have to finalise what drinks, food, music, and decors we will have for the night. Food and drinks would be dependent on how many people will be turning up, thus the RSVP is so important.

To top this off, I have my final exams a week before and an end-user instructional program the week after the event! Yikes!!!

Already suffering a pre-nervous breakdown here... HELP!!!

Happy 5th Anniversary!

Yesterday, the 22nd of September, Arnie and I celebrated our 5th year together by taking a couple of days off. We booked a room at the Marque hotel located in the heart of Fitzroy Street, St. Kilda. At night, Arnie wined and dined me at the Stokehouse in Beach Road. It was an awfully romantic evening. It was an unforgettable evening, an evening that I will never forget.

Arnie formally asked me to marry him... and presented me with the most beautiful ring!



White gold, three princess cut diamonds of excellent clarity. Now I understand why "diamonds are a girl's best friend!"



I am very happy! Not because of the ring... well, okay, partially that :p... but because of the fact that I am about to embark into another chapter of my life... being a soon-to-be-wife to the man I am most in love with. I am ready to share the rest of my life with him and I couldn't be happier.



Love you, baby! Thanks for making me a very happy and loved woman! Thanks for your patience, your kindness, and your love. Happy anniversary! Kiss, Kiss!

The so-called "Jologs" in me...

"Jologs" is this word that I have often come across from reading blogs written by Filipinos living in the Philippines. I have also read some of those Friendster bulletins reiterating that the self-proclaimed "conos" loathe the yucky "jologs".

Having witnessed this phenomenon first hand when it started out in the 90s (and back then "jologs" wasn't the term used), I was very interested in this resurgence of blatant name-calling. I was neither a cono or a jolog. I refuse to categorize myself as one or the other. Besides, who are we to know if a person is one or the other unless we are one of them right?

While I was googling the word "jologs" I came across this article written for the UP Publications Online titled Revenge of the "Jologs". This article offers a very in-depth explanation as to what the whole "jolog" phenomenon is all about.

Now, following this article's description, I would have to say that I am part "jolog". "Pank ees nat ded" is something that I would agree on definitely, being a big punk fan myself :p. I was called "jologs" for my love of old Filipino films. I got teased mercilessly for asking my friend Dave to buy me the Bagets 1 and Bagets 2 vcds when he came over. I like heaps of Filipino bands, especially UP-produced Yano ("Tsinelas" and "SM" being all time favourites).

Now, I would also admit that I am also part "cono". I cannot escape this fact since I have studied in rather "cono" schools according to most people. I like my designer clothes. I like eating out in really nice places. English is something that just comes out naturally, although I don't speak in that irritating "Ooooohhhhhh mmmmmmyyyyyyy gooooosssssshhhhhhh, ggggrrrrraaaaabbbbbeeee, suuuuuppppeeerrrrr" dribble... ergh! Biggest pet peeve!

So, why in the world are Filipinos so hell bent in categorizing people as either "jologs" or "cono"? Even bleedin' "Pinoy Big Brother" has divided the house into these two groups, thus creating more hostility and less undertanding between these people! Isn't the huge economic gap enough that we even have to resort to calling people names to make a point? Does a person deserve to be called names just because they like watching soap operas or have an outdated mobile phone? Honestly!

"Cono" or "Jologs"... mate, in the real world shit like that don't mean squat. If you really are hell bent in becoming a better person, be who you really are and everything will fall into place.

Follow up...

So, have I returned the Morrissey shirt dress? YES!

Have they given me a refund? NO!

Instead, they gave me a credit note... FECK!

I'll be keeping that for the summer range! :p

Confessions of a shopaholic part 2

STOOOOPID! That's what I am! I bought that beautiful Morrisey shirt dress regardless of it fitting me like I'm some shapeless, short, blimp! ARGH!

Went to David Jones yesterday and saw a beautiful Marcs black shirt dress... same style as the Morrissey shirt dress only in a different fabric. I went into the fitting rooms and tried it on. It felt and looked like it was tailored! The fit was spectacular and all the right curves and bumps are showing!

Now, I would have to go back to Morrissey in Melbourne Central and return that pricey purchase I made. Here's hoping that they give refunds! >cross fingers<

Video of the week 9...

This week's video is from my favourite band of all time... THE CURE!

This song is the first single out of their latest self-titled album. I especially like this video's very Peter-Gabriel-Sledgehammeresque-quality to it :p

Enjoy!!!

End of the World

Go if you want to
I never tried to stop you
Know there's a reason
For all of this you're feeling
Love its not my call
You couldnt ever love me more
You couldnt love me more
You couldnt love

Me I dont show much
Its not that hard to hide you
See in a moment
I cant remember how to
Be all you wanted
I couldnt ever love you more
I couldnt love you more
I couldnt love
You want me to cry and play my part
I want you to sigh and fall apart
We want this like everyone else

Stay if you want to
I always wait to hear you
Say there's a last kiss
For all the times you run this
Way its not my fault
You couldnt ever love me more
You couldnt love me more
You couldnt love

Love me more
Couldnt ever love me more
I couldnt love you more
I couldnt love

You want me to lie not break your heart
I want you to fly not stop and start
We want us like everything else

Maybe we didnt understand
Not just a boy and a girl
Its just the end of the
end of the world

Me i dont say much
Its far too hard to make you
See in a moment
I still forget just how to
Be all you wanted
I couldnt ever love you more
I couldn't love you more

- From the album The Cure

Confessions of a Shopaholic part 1

I have decided to have an on-going "series" if you will aside from the MLIM specials. I guess my readers and frequent blog visitors would know by now that I am a shopaholic. I have tried reforming myself of my impulsiveness when it comes to purchasing things, but to no avail. I have resigned myself to the fact that I love shopping and that I will just embrace this fact... so long as I don't go overboard.

These past two weeks have been an absolute nightmare on my budget. With David visiting and us going out a lot and the huge shopping spree I did over the weekend, it left a big dent on my account! As in, a HUGE dent! As in, over $3000!!! ACK!!!

(conversion rate is AU$1 = P42)

Here's what I spent:

1. Going out with Dave and Migs for 3 days ($250)
2. Lacoste top ($110)
3. Dangerfield cut-off pants ($68)
4. Saba italian yarn cardigan ($195)
5. Two Marcs polo shirts for Arnie ($99) - sale item!
6. Saba Crushed peasant skirt ($225)
7. Saba hipster leather belt ($125)
8. Saba black Cami ($65)
9. Nova pink ballet shoes ($40) - had to buy these because my feet were hurting in those damn heels!
10. Mum's birthday dinner ($50) - shared the bill with Arnie
11. Morrissey leather hand bag ($190)
12. Tag Heuer watch for Arnie's anniversary present... shhhhh!!!! ($1400)
13. Ella Bache facial care products ($125)
14. Clinique lip liner ($40)
15. Clinique concealer ($40)
16. Morrissey black dress ($199)

... Oh my God! That's so much shopping in two weeks! ARGH!

At least I'll get a lot of use out of these items anyway. I'll just have to refrain from shopping for the next month or so... if I'm strong enough :p

Naughty, naughty...

Got tagged by Vayie with these rather, er... naughty questions... since I'm not KJ...

1. What are five of the most erogenous zones of your body?

Ears
Neck
Inner thighs
Stomach
... too risque to mention here :p

2. What is your usual sleeping attire?

In cold nights, I wear my full jammie regala. In very warm nights, I opt for a tank top and undies

3. If it's not dark, dirty, and illegal and if you were to choose, where do you want to do IT and why?

Changing rooms in the shops where there are wall to wall mirrors :p

4. For you, what is the sexiest part of a man's body?

Strong arms and chest

5. Do you have some "mood" music in mind that you wanted to try?

Anything by Barry White! Hahahaha! "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" is classic! Oh, as well as Marvin Gaye... "Sexual Healing" :p

6. Rate you performance with 1 at the lowest and 10 as the highest

If you're really interested in this, then ask Arnie about it :p

7. What is your winning signature move?

Same... ask Arnie, I wouldn't know :p

8. Are you submissive or agressive?

I can be both depending on my mood

9. Who do you think is the sexiest male and female celebrity?

Johnny Depp for male, Angelina Jolie for female

10. What is the sexiest part of your body?

No bleedin' clue... I want to believe I AM SEXY and that's it! Hahahaha!

Complete the following sentences:

1. I would rather kill myself than go to bed with...

Mama's boys, stinky poos, idiots, and male chauvinists pigs

2. A major deal-breaker would be...

if a guy starts comparing me with his mother.... brrrrrrr, too Norman Bates for my liking!

3. The naughtiest thing I've ever done so far is...

Hmmmm... have to think about that.

4. My "secret weapon" is...

Not so much a secret but I am super lambing!

5. It may be weird, but I find a mind extremely sexy when...

Humour and assertiveness is always a turn on.

6. Sexual chemistry means...

When words are not even needed and yet everything just falls into place.

7. Hell, I would only initiate IT when...

I have no problems initiating IT if and when I have the need... which is often. Hahahaha :p

8. If I had the chance I would...

Do very daring things that would shock even myself.

9. If I could leave one piece of garment in a man it would be...

I have a thing for white shirts on big chested men :p

10. If I would bring some props it would be...

Dress-up stuffs :p

11. My favourite post-coital activity is...

Depends on my mood. Sometimes I want to cuddle, other times I want to raid the fridge and eat, and there are times when I just want to sleep afterwards.

12. The physical part of my body that is getting most of the compliments would definitely be...

People wouldn't dare compliment me on a particular body part for fear of being called names :p But seriously, I have no idea...

13. I am actually a good catch because...

I am a firm believer that men are men and that I cannot change that. I let them have their fun, I try to be their mate rather than just be "the girlfriend". There are girls who say being "one of the boys" is no fun, but I believe you gain more respect from guys if you are. I don't change them, I accept them.

You know how men are. I am resigned to the fact that "you can't live with them, can't kill them." ^_^

Melbourne under terrorist threat??? Bah!!!

Okay... here they go again! These terrorists losers are supposedly after Los Angeles and Melbourne next. Right...

I am sick and tired of these so-called "religious workers for Allah." Don't they have anything better to do than try to upset people with their pathetic display of their so-called love for God? Honestly! Is God's presence felt in any senseless killing?

I do not agree with Iraq and I do not agree with terrorists trying to justify their actions because of Iraq. Innocent people are getting harmed either way.

Religious zealots (i.e. crazy fanatics) are the ones that should be taken out. They are destroying harmony amongst people. Go back to the cave whence you came from, idiots!

I feel sorry for God. He/She is probably up there with a perpetual migraine. The second commandment is human's greatest sin as of late... sheesh...

Happy Birthday Mum!

My mum has turned 49 today. We did not have the best relationship when I was younger, but now that I am older (!) and wiser (?) I appreciate everything that she has done for me. I know she was hard on me because she genuinely cared and loved me.



To you, Mum... I may not be the best daughter but you are definitely the best mum for my difficult shitty self :p

Many happy returns and luvs ya! >kiss, kiss<

Best mate visit 2005

I have been meaning to post this for awhile but I have to catch up on some much needed zees... much of last week I have spent being up until the wee hours of the morning and living on only 2 hours sleep to rest my tired body.

But as my friend Mig and I have said, it was worth it. It's not everyday that David comes to visit, or the fact that we haven't been together - all three of us - since I have decided to migrate to Australia back in 2000. Mig followed soon after, and David was left back in Manila.

From Tuesday night (30 Aug) till Friday night (2 Sept) , we spent most of our waking hours together - chatting, walking around, drinking, and basically just fooling around and catching up and reminiscing. It was the most fun I have spent with mates in years.

David left for Sydney last Saturday (3 Sept) and I miss him. I have told him about my wedding plans and he promised to be there. Below are some pictures we took during his time here. Click here to view more pictures. Enjoy!

Relaxing on a sofa bed...  

Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil! 

Mocking around along St. Kilda Beach 

Enjoying a cold sunny day along the beach at the Great Ocean Road 

Video of the week 8...

This week's video is one of my favourite songs by U2.

The Sweetest Thing

My love throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She won't catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know she likes a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

I'm losing you
I'm losing you yeah
Ain't love the sweetest thing

I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You know I got black eyes
But they burn so brightly for her
This is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

I'm losing you
Oh oh oh, I'm losing you
Ain't love the sweetest thing

Blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You can sew it up but you still see the tear
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
Ours is a stormy kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing

- by U2 from the album The Best of U2 1980 - 1989